


After the fall of Roman

by shitty_goblin_writer



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Logan doesn't know how to comfort, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Not Beta Read, Panic Attacks, Questioning self, Swearing, We Die Like Men, angsty, but i promise it'll get better, figuring it out tho, just sadness, later emotional outburst, let me know what ship you want to see, logan/virgil was unintentional, might roll with it, not quite sure how to wright Janus yet, spoiler: there is no bad guy, spoilers for latest episode, tags update as i go, the boys are doing their best, we'll see
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:00:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23997151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shitty_goblin_writer/pseuds/shitty_goblin_writer
Summary: after the Selfishness v. Selflessness Redux Roman, and everyone else for that matter, is left to pick up their own broken pieces and put them back together... somehow.or maybe they aren't alone.(please if your up for it give it a chance i suck at summerys)
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, if you squint, none yet, yet
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	1. the scattered pieces of Roman

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> inspiration hit me while i was scrolling through tumblr and found i had my own analysis of the story and this is the only way i can get it out and quarantine has me bored.
> 
> ok yes i know i should be updating the bnha fic but i dont have a plan for it and the writing in that sucks. Ill open that can of worms once i get my mental health in order.
> 
> until then have this brain worm!
> 
> Enjoy!

Roman sat in his room with his head in his hands, Patton had left a little while ago after the prince said he wanted to be alone. Not before he gave some all to generic support and “let me know if you need to talk”, he didn't need to talk, he needed to think.

Alright, it's probably best he started this train of thought at the beginning. Everything started fine... well, not fine, but better than what came after. He, Patton and Thomas himself were having their usual debate whenever something happened. He had said…. What did he say? No, he had helped make the decision to go to the wedding and he was also upset that things didn’t… didn’t what? Feel better? Sure he’d go with that, at least for now. But he also agreed with Patton that it was the right thing to do, right? 

But then why didn’t it feel right like it was supposed to? Was he right the first time in saying they should have talked to Lee and Mary Lee? They probably should have… they had agreed on that right? But the tension in the room at the time he felt as though he had to cut it so he brought up Karma. Tried to crack a few jokes, lighten the situation so things could go back to normal. But looking back, it looked like Patton was starting to panic. How had he not noticed that? Was this his fault? Was He the problem?

He had disagreed with Patton after all, on Morality, on what it meant to be good. He sent the other down such a tragic rabbit hole. He Brought up the Trolley problem for Pete's sake! He was only trying to help but did it matter? Yet when he brought it up they said he was wrong, he was influential and… and Patton needed him on his team.

Yet when Patton went all frogtastic on them he used what Roman said earlier against him. He won't lie (Ha) that hurt but he was also so panicked at the time, he couldn’t make things worse. Especially when the real bad guy showed up, Janus had ALWAYS been the bad guy, so whatever he said must be wrong and by contradicting him he was doing the right thing. It's simple logic! 

Then Thomas got hurt and then suddenly Deceit was the good guy? What he hated even more was that some of the things he was saying made sense. But, he couldn't agree with the bad guy could he? Unless… he was already a bad guy.

No, no he couldn’t be….

There was a knock on his door.


	2. Virgil is to tiered for this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil is stressed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another update? at 1 AM the next day? more likely than you think.
> 
> sorry for the short chapters <3

To say Virgil was full of anxiety was not only redundant but an understatement. He’d been avoiding Thomas since he confessed he was a dark side then ran and he didn’t know what to do about it. What was he doing? What did everyone else think? He’d know if he left his room but he was so scared that he’d be asked questions and put on the spot he just couldn't bring himself to move. They’d be fine without him,(no he had to try to think positively) for a little while at least.

He was slowly starting to calm his nerves when he felt a spike in his power, he would be worried if this wasn’t normal but Thomas’s anxiety rises and falls all the time. This one though felt like the usual spike that happened when they had their usual conversations/debates, what happened? What did he miss? He checked the calendar (that Logan regularly updated) and clock in his room, ah something must’ve happened at the wedding. 

Alright, this is fine, they can go with him sitting one out right? Yeah, they were all adults, they would be fine. To distract himself he picked up an old book laying around and started to read and for about half an hour everything was fine just like he told himself. Until there was a small build and then a giant spike in power. What the Hell? Something big must have happened, he hadn’t felt this powerful since… since Thomas first came into his room.

Should he do something? Do they need his help? No, if they needed his help they would come and get him right? (who are you kidding? They don't need your help. They never did) No, it's fine they can handle this. (but you know it's not fine at all. They would never give you power voluntarily. Who’s to say they can handle this?) It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. 

He didn't realize he was muttering until there was a knock on the door.

“C-Come in…” shit this was bad. He looked up at the door from his hoodie-up fetal position (that he didn't realize he was in until just now) as it slowly opened and Logan peaked his head in.

“Hey,” The other sighed seemingly to collect his thoughts. “Look,I know everything's really chaotic right now, but i wanted to check on you, and let you know that it's going to be ok. They are just sorting things out right now.” Logan finished in the best calm voice he could muster, albeit generic reassurance. Virgil appreciated the thought and the attempt nonetheless, and that appreciation helped calm him down a small bit.

The bluer of the two cautiously walked into the room and sat on the bed next to the literal ball of anxiety, not too good or sure on how to comfort someone but once again making an attempt that he knew was needed. Virgil, slightly surprised yet successfully comforted by the effort, hesitated before resting his head on the other figment's shoulder and tried to focus on relaxing and not the awkward situation. He only succeeded in that effort when Logan rested a tentative hand on his back.

Another half an hour later was when his power fizzled down to successful levels and he was once again calm. (as he could be) he sat up and tilted his face towards the other.

“Uh, thanks.” he rubbed his hands on his sleeves. “That… that helped a lot.”

“Oh, it's not a problem…” The mock teacher said. “I’m just glad I could be an odd sort of calm amongst the storm.” He gave the anxious man a slight smile before walking out.

After sitting in place for a little while longer to collect his thoughts he poked his head outside his room for the first time in probably weeks, just in time to see Deceit walk into the mind space from the oh so familiar living room. Questions filled his brain as he walked up to the other dark side.

“Did you cause this?” He said with an accusing tone.

“Don't look at me,” the snake replied. “I only got involved half way through.”

Virgil sighed and put his head in a hand realizing that the stress from today was starting to give him a migraine. 

“I need a nap.” he muttered to himself, knowing that he said it just loud enough for the other to hear him but not particularly caring as he promptly walked back into his room.


	3. Patton doesn't know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil isn't the only one that can have bad panic attacks as it turns out.
> 
> and I still don't know how to wright Janus lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, dont mind me being productive for once in my life. yea, i didn't know i could either.
> 
> (did i already apologize for how short these chapters are? if not im sorry <3)
> 
> thank whatever deity presides for inspiration
> 
> hope you enjoy!

Patton didn't know what he was supposed to feel right now. He had done and felt so much in the past hour that he was frankly feeling exhausted, he couldn't even muster the energy to make dad puns. He was running on autopilot, checking roman, cleaning the mind space, organizing his room. He couldn't think so he moved, flitting around like an anxious butterfly. Although it seemed the constant moving wasn't helping, his cleaning only getting more frantic but he didn't stop long enough to notice.

He was cleaning the coffee table for the second time when he saw a silhouette at the corner of his eye sit down on the other side of the couch. Looking up he realized it was deci- no, Janus. Gosh he was still reeling, his conscious mind working on movement instead of what happened seemed like a good idea until he started to feel the strain in his joints.

He eventually sat down and took a deep breath. He didn't know what to say, he didn't know what to do, he didn't know what to feel. He just felt so tired. He tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling, his mind slowly starting to fill with thoughts without endings, a slowly rising cacophony that turned into static. The static and meld of confusing emotions only got louder as he crossed his arms and gripped his own flesh to try and ground himself. Coherent thought getting lost in the noise to the point he didn't even realize he was panicking.

It was only when a hand landed on his shoulder some unknown amount of time later that he noticed that he had started crying and clenching his jaw so hard there was a dull pain in his teeth. He slowly rolled his head to look at the now good guy(?), well at least the one getting a second chance. Was he ever the bad guy? Was he ever the good guy? He got his understanding of morality from his religion which couldn't be all bad. Although he knew the christian church had done some… bad and often very questionable things. His muddled train of thought was cut off.

“You should get some sleep.” was all the other said, in an uncharacteristically soft voice.

Patton blinked, processed what the other said, and then decided that yes it was probably a good idea. He nodded and uncrossed his arms, the crescent marks left by his nails disappearing quickly but his attention was on his hands. He hasn't seen anyone's hands shake this bad since Thomas was in high school and he experienced one of the worst panic attacks he ever had. 

The morality embodiment hiccuped then turned and started to stand up, found he was still to shakey and landed back onto the couch. He breathed as deep as he could, sensed Janus’s hands hovering around him and this time took one of the others' hands to steddy him. Finally managing to stand he closed his eyes for a moment then straightened his stance as best he could and turned to the other.

“T- thanks…” he said with a small smile, genuine gratitude in his eyes. The snake just pursed his lips and watched as the other walked into his room and closed the door behind him.

Patton tossed and turned for a while for a while before falling into a deep but troubled sleep. Dreams didn't come to him that night though and based on what went on outside his door, it was a good thing.


	4. Janus tries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janus tries to help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! sorry its been a while, this chapter isnt as well written as i would like it to be but imma roll with it.
> 
> i hope you enjoy!

Janus was content. Yes, there was some chaos, but he had done what he had thought was an unachievable goal ever since he was shunned when they were all kids. He was accepted, kind of, he at least had a seat at the table and that was wonderful. They might be starting to see that he wasn't just Deceit, he was self serving. Which are two different things thank you very much. 

But what he knows they don't realize yet is that he serves all of Thomas, not just himself, and that includes all of them. He may be the master of sarcasm, but if anyone had asked he would tell them honestly, he cared about them. Ok, maybe he’d string them along for a bit but you can't blame a guy for having fun!

He had made sure Thomas took care of himself, cracked a few jokes, tried not to stress the other out too much. Then he walked into the mindscape, ready for some kind of added chaos but all he got was a worrying confrontation from Virgil. Oh well, he could fill in the former dark side in the morning, Hell knows the emo had another panic attack. But he would comfort me with my chemical romance wannabe later. 

He made eye contact with Logan as he walked past his room and they nodded at each other. The two had a mutual understanding for a while now, no one bar maybe Remus wanted Thomas harm. They knew they could trust each other that way, Logan trusting him due to the selfish mindset and he knew he could trust the other due to simple sheer logic. 

He and Virgil learned to help everyone by admittedly less than moral means through trickery and twisted words but that didn't change the fact they wanted to help. They were just forced to do so in the shadows, using the other for comfort. Janus knew his way of speaking was confusing yet the other learned to understand him.

He turned his attention to the busy bee that was Patton, he had been around long enough to spot a panic attack. So he slowly walked over and sat down on the couch a little ways away and allowed himself to be a hopefully comforting presence. He watched as the other sat down and broke down, yet knowing enough to not try to prevent it and allowed the heart to feel for a while before slowly interrupting. He helped Patton to his room and then he was alone, left alone to make a (probably) bad decision.

despite being alone the tension was thick. He knew remus was fine so there was one more person to check in on. Now he liked to consider himself a good judge of character and he knew this wasn’t going to go well. But he was still a dark side most of his life despite whether he was one now or not and he couldn't deny he felt excited. Despite wanting the best he still thrived on chaos.

He knocked on Romans door.


End file.
